You are your own reality. Reality is your illusion and your illusion is your reality.
I saw meditation as unattractive, I didn't have time for that, I didn't get it. I just thought you sit and breathe. I think I finally understand it and I'd love to let you all know that while it is lovely to sit in a yoga position and hold stones and look all zen, meditation is entirely what you make of it and all about what you feel inside. It's not about what you look like or how big and deep your breathing can be.
Everything is so crazily complex and everything is a wonder. You are a wonder.
You are worth this fight, the person at the end of this is worth this fight. Feel the emotions swirling around inside, listen to them, read between the lines. What do they mean? What do you need, really?