When someone is sad, depressed, angry or feeling rejected, because of a negative situation, people will say something along the lines of “Don’t let it affect you.”
It took me a long time to realise that, actually, you need it to affect you. Not only that, but it is totally and completely up to you as to how it affects you.
We are hugely manipulated by our environment, and we cannot change that, what we must do instead is learn how to thrive in any situation and not just survive. When something negative happens, you might want to retreat from it. Retreating from a situation or a feeling is okay, if you still know yourself, retreat too far and you could loose your sense of being. I’m going to say that loosely because quite often ‘retreating’ now becomes more of an advancement. It causes a discovery of something inside yourself. What is labelled as a retreat now, is not really one. If you think going out with nature is retreating from a situation, you’re wrong, you’re actually advancing on it. You’re finding something to gain, something in yourself to love through nature and via that negative situation.
I personally try not to block out any experience or thought, even those negative, but instead I try to draw from them, I try to face them in a different light. Does it always work?
No. But we are, and should be, a constant work in progress.
What we can work on and perfect is our ability to manipulate the way the environment affects our inner self, our mind. You can hugely change your perception or your feelings towards any environment you’re in.
We are blessed with the ability to adapt, not only physically but mentally, through our mind.
When your environment is really stressful, busy and hectic, change your focus. You could join in and fidget. You could mentally think yourself overwhelmed and cause your heart-rate to increase, adrenal glands to produce cortisol (the stress hormone) and your eccrine glands to produce sweat. Or you could learn how to reassure yourself and be safe within your mind. The option is yours.
Focus on small things. Colours, words, your breathing. If something is affecting your negatively that you can turn off, turn it off. Let the situation empower you to take control, to calm yourself and to prove you have control of your mind. Listen to calming music, write, dance, create something that you can control from the chaos.
Let it affect you, make it change the way you’re acting, draw from the experience.
Cry, punch cushions, but stay in control. Look at yourself in the mirror in times of despair and give yourself advice. Look in your own eyes and give yourself the reassurance and advice that you would give a loved one. Because you are a loved one. Make sure you are loved by yourself, care enough about yourself to encourage and nourish yourself. Self-care is not a selfish act.
Grow from it. Learn from it. When there’s an environment you frequently find yourself in that is not helping you progress to the person you want to be, let it affect you and push you to change that.
You are powerful.
Being emotional is not a negative to your character. Crying and anger is not negative if you draw from it and navigate it. You have not given in. You are just releasing tension.
You are the master of yourself. You know yourself best. You can manipulate how you choose to draw from experiences, good and bad. You can choose how you view each situation, good and bad.
Your mind is incredibly powerful.
If you can learn your own mind, you can heal yourself from the inside out.
“The type of energy you surround yourself with, the beliefs you’re attached to, the way you speak, your thought patterns, and the types of food you eat are either inspiring and empowering your mind, body, and spirit into greater awareness and wellness or… draining you of it… pick wisely.” – Lalah Delia